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Mariah Carey, Fred Durst... there has been a recent trend
in posting late night ramblings on to your website. Well,
I hate to feel "out of the loop." So here goes...
Many
have asked why I do what I do. Many leave the conversation
still asking. I don’t think I’m a boring conversationalist.
I just think I don’t ever really constructively answer.
It wasn't until I just asked myself this very question
that I really stopped and did the whole proverbial pause thing.
Much is owed to the wonderful Jennifer and her silent and
often humbling challenges to be a better person. It’s
true. I could glide through this crazy life on t-shirts sales
and probably be happy. Which leads me to question happiness
though. I mean, if I go through life never considering if
I’m happy, will it ever bother me? Do we only hate the
cold weather because have heaters for our homes? Large, small.
Space heaters that can be custom made to match décor
and window treatments. Giving the room a fresh, open feeling
without saying, "Look at me. I’m here to heat you."
If given nothing to compare to, what is the basis for a decision?
A grape is only big until put next to an orange. An orange
is the biggest thing you’ll have seen until a melon…and
so on. From melon to tree to truck to skyscraper…to battleship.
With only one constant and no variable, the initial object
just becomes a stupid thing that just sits there and gets
you laughed at and makes Julie Myles ask someone else to the
dance. You had her in the palm of your hand you idiot. Until
you started in with this fruit nonsense. You’re hopeless.
Is happiness relative? One of the great minds of our time,
Julia Roberts, posed this very troubling teaser. If a tree
falls…does it make any sound. If a guy cleans a dish……did
it really happen? These are the voyages of the idle mind.
To seek out brave new worlds…Compton, Sublette Kansas,
Idaho. To boldly blah, blah, blah. While this is not my thesis
on life, I would like to try and collect some thoughts, ideas,
and passing notions that have, until now, eluded any productive
form. That being some sharable, tangible medium that might,
in it’s most feeble attempts give a glimpse into what
I so rarely verbalize. I’m doing this as much for myself
as anyone. Now don’t go skipping to the end or browse
and skim like you did old book reports. "Um, yeah. Uh,
the book was about this guy who, um, he got into some trouble
and um, he uh, did some other stuff. It was a good book. I
liked it." I can see right through that crap. I did it
too. We’re no different, you and I. The tides and gales
of blustering wind hath carried over to both our shores, on
tired old backs, and have blown henceforth to bring silent
illumination. Verily I say, go young wanderer. Oh but doth
the swiftness of thy words cut mine tender heart. It's beating
left to, alas, forego this dismal Winter. ...No idea what
that means. I am hoping this will result in a better understanding
for us all. I say all this because I truly believe we find
ourselves at an important juncture. Not some chance, random
crossing. I have crossed and chanced many random crossings
and chances are have found the same crossing as everyone else,
both joy and heartache. Unless per chance I got crossed. I
know I can say I'm on the brink of something much bigger than
myself. But see, this gets into the whole comparison debate
again. A mule I choose not to ride this way again. But she
really livened up the first few paragraphs. What’s notable
to me may be rubbish to another. I used to be indecisive but
now I’m not so sure.
God bless.
-jared
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